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Ellie

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(no subject) [Dec. 20th, 2006|12:44 am]
Ellie
so i have a boyfriend, kinda. the fact he lives in england and i havent yet met him sucks. but i like him heaps. we've talked quite a bit on the phone. so i may detour past england on my way to Tanzania next year...
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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2006|08:38 am]
Ellie
got an extension for one essay. got 2 more to do in 3 hours tho. crap its not gonna get done.
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(no subject) [Oct. 8th, 2006|04:14 am]
Ellie
lets see. i'm currently procrastinating cos dun wanna go home. should do tho. hate being in avoident mood.
my to do list this week:
Monday: - work training, desert, hockey
Thursday:- 9am-11am my last test of university ever!
through this week: - fix up 3 essays, write 2 of their drafts, do my logic assignment, start studying for thursdays test.
will this week get done? i dunno
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(no subject) [Oct. 3rd, 2006|10:58 am]
Ellie
yay i have a job. 50% increase in wage from last year :D
its parttime, in the evening, which should be good. goes til end of march :)
i got asked what denomination i was in the interview. random eh
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(no subject) [Sep. 16th, 2006|04:01 pm]
Ellie
so the current challenge is: How much am i willing to give up for God.
interesting thought to ponder, yes it is and a scary 1.
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(no subject) [Aug. 28th, 2006|03:10 pm]
Ellie
so. whats happened in the last 22 days?
well i've been to the dr 3 times, had bronchitis (which i didn't go to the dr about), decided i like Sam (and i think God's meddling in my life), still haven't figured out what i'm doing next year, haven't done any work (in 2 weeks i have 1 essay, 3 essay drafts, and assignment and a seminar due) which is bad.
so i went to the dr (on wed) cos i wasn't sleeping (it'd been like 2 weeks, and i wasnt tired), so i waltzed up said 'i'm not sleeping, its really annoying, and oh i've been pretty depressed the last 10 years', so i nearly got diagnosed with cyclothymia or manic depression, then i had heapsa bloodtests. so the next friday i went back, bloodtests didn't show anything, oh i forgot, they decided to do bloods to check out polycystic ovaries. sleeping pills had only just started working then. so i left the dr with iron tablets, and fluroxetine (aka prozac aka antidepressent) and the dr was going to ring the endocrinologist to discuss my symptoms and lack of bloodwork showing up stuff.
so today (monday) i got a phonecall from my dr asking me to make an appointment, which i did. so i went to the dr, and she said the endo reckoned its PCOS, which kinda sucks. so i'm contemplating what i wanna do with it.
did i mention my parents are in Nairobi at the moment? on saturday they bus to Tanzania.
i also have the interesting challenge of living off $70 a week for the next 8 weeks; my rent is $90 so should be interesting lol.
i think this is a crash course in trusting in God; yet another one for this year. guess i'll wait and see what happens.
everything keeps getting better, i feel good and coping with life, then another curveball hits, but i'm coping pretty well at hte moment. i have a feeling tonight will be hard but i'll manage.
this year has been weird. its weird to like my ex-flatmate. i keep randomly bumping into him (so unless he's stalking me...) when i most need someone to make me smile, and he can actually make me do that, which is weird, cos only Trent's managed that before... and i'm over him now (about 7 months later lol)
but i really need to go write my essay...
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(no subject) [May. 18th, 2006|02:38 pm]
Ellie
so i'm old.!.!.!


You Are 28 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
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(no subject) [Nov. 18th, 2005|01:57 pm]
Ellie
job trial next week... lol cant believe they told me to come in for training... should be fun and good experience either way
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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2005|02:53 pm]
Ellie
university has finished for the year
now all i have to do to graduate is pass my three exams this year. write 5 essays, do 4 presentations, 3 tests and 2 assignments next year and then october 13th i'm done. got my BSc. maj. Psychology... not that that means anything... after that off to Bible college to do Dip. Couns. or something like that.
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my testimony [Oct. 9th, 2005|11:50 pm]
Ellie
I don’t remember ever really liking myself when I was little. I felt like I could never be good enough for anyone to love. Everything I tried seemed to fall flat, so I closed myself off from everyone. I figured that by isolating myself my failed attempts to earn love wouldn’t matter. But I was wrong. While most people thought my life was sweet inside I felt unloveable and I hated life. Cos of that I tried to kill myself a few times, but kept failing, which kinda made things worse. I don’t know wat bought it to the point where I felt I had no other option but to die. I know I felt that I'd be doing the world a favour. I was about 14 when I planned for days on how to make it work, how I could make it so I wasn’t found for a while. I thought it was foolproof, but as u can tell it wasn’t. I went off to feed my pets so it wouldn’t b noticeable that I wasn’t around, and as I walked down the track which I walked daily I noticed this perfect magpie skeleton on the ground. As I noticed it for the 1st time I heard a voice come from nowhere saying 'I noticed when this bird died, don't u think I care so much more for you?'. Explain it how u will, but I had no other way to explain it apart from it was God. i sat down where I was and cried my eyes out. I felt like I was loved for the 1st time I could remember, and nothing I could do could take it away. When I got back to my room I opened my Bible, and found matthew 10, where it says "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." It bought my to the realisation that God had created me and loved my just as I am, that He gave the ultimate love sacrifice, his son to die for me, so that I could have a personal relationship with him. I still struggle from time to time feeling that I'm not worthy of love, but now I know that despite whatever I do, God still loves me.
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